Number one, I am sorry. I am sorry to all of my friends that have faced discrimination over the years and I, because of my privilege, was silent. I am sorry for the things I have said, done and probably still do. I am doing my best to listen now, to soak up and study all the things and phrases that are hurting you and to rid myself of them. I was wrong, and I genuinely apologize.
Would you like to know why I am finally speaking out? Because abuse happens everyday in my community of exceptional children. Every single day I am reaching out support to a friend who had a child secluded, abused, bullied to an extent that leaves physical scars. This is happening at schools. Everywhere.
What can my own story possibly do? I don't know, but I know that truth is a strong weapon. I know that voices that speak out change worlds. Many people don't even know the truth behind the world of children with special needs. They don't see the dark side. And so I tell my story.
This is bigger than me, than you. I have the privilege of an audience and I find it my responsibility to tell the truth. Strangely, I am still trying to carefully craft my public thoughts to hide identities and protect even those who have hurt my family. But this, this is so much bigger than my family. Our sensitivities and shame are negligible. Because children are being hurt.
And so, in deep humility I will admit to my mistakes. I will strive to better myself. I will dig deep and find the courage to rise up, speak out. Because people are hurting.
Truth:
Children are being hurt. The very ones who cannot speak for themselves are held hostage by a system that is stacked so far against them that even open abuse is going unchecked.
Parents are crying out and nobody is listening. Systems are held in check by the silence of co-workers. You may believe that we are, that I am, too vocal. You may even be offended. Consider your offense in light of our abuse and then make your choice.
I do not have to privilege to be silent. You do. And that's your right.
Stand in silence and it voices your side. You are a human capable of choices and your silence is your choice. Silence, Dear World, is a farce. It is not peacable, it is not silent.
But again, I do not have that privilege. I do not get to go home to my family who is not affected by this, cook dinner, laugh over burned casseroles and fall asleep at peace.
I come home, order a pizza because I have to call lawyers and there is no time to cook. I read legal jargon that I don't understand. I google terms that I didn't learn with my degree. I have to buy hundreds of dollars in books to become an expert in all things Visually Impaired. I miss out on family game night because I'm studying for IEP's and meetings.
I implore you to choose wisely what you do with your privilege. Because we need you to get in the game with us.
You may not have children with special needs. You may not know anyone with children with special needs. But you know someone who does. We are here, just find us.
Here are some ideas:
Ask friends to ask their friends if they would be willing to go for coffee and tell you about their life. Because you want to understand. You want to help.
Call your school board and ask what the seclusion/restraint policies are. And FIGHT for kids to not be thrown into rooms and locked away.
If your school is not inclusion friendly, go to the school board meetings, the PTO meetings and speak up for inclusion.
Study so that you can give an accountable answer that inclusion actually BENEFITS the children without additional exceptionalities.
If your co-worker is accused of abuse, neglect, incompetence, believe that there is another side. Sit and comb through the facts. If you have an opportunity to actually listen to the accuser, I implore you to do so. And listen carefully, what little they tell you is probably just the tip of the iceberg. Look up statistics on people speaking against abuse. We take a heck of a lot on before we even speak one word about it.
If you know of abuse within your system, speak out. We cannot fight this on our own, although we will die trying. Be the dang whistle blower!!
Stop silencing the broken ones. Give us space to speak our realities, our perceptions, our truths.
We are considered irrational parents because we believe in our children. What if the tables were turned? What if someone told you that your child isn't worth the effort of teaching? What then? We are discriminated against every single day. We face the micro-aggression of a system archaic in the thought that a disability defines ones ability.
No one defines a person's ability but the person himself.
With all the love in my heart for humanity I ask you to stop being a part of the cycle of discrimination, abuse and oppression. Stop being silent.
Rise up and Speak out.
Even if that is as small as liking this post or sharing it and saying "I stand with them." Then do it.
And remember that your silence? It's not really silence at all. It speaks volumes.
I realize I am not everyone's cup of tea. That's okay. But this? This is human indecency. This is modern day segregation of a people group. And decent humans stand against such abuse.
I have this hope that we are so much better than this.
And you are right. I'm intense. I'm not content to be a spark. I want to rise as the whole dang explosion.
I don't want to change the world of my daughters. I want to change the whole world. We are a small ripple, but just maybe we can make enough noise that we shatter glass ceilings everywhere.
Come on, catch Little Sparks, catch.
RISE UP.
SPEAK OUT.
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