Katie R. Hurst

This fighting, this roller coaster is just so tiring. We are at the tail end of expediting our adoption and let me just say this is exhausting. The kind of exhausting that keeps you in bed in the morning and has you telling the kids to break out those pop tarts that you hear cause cancer and otherwise never consider. Who am I kidding? Pop Tarts are a mother's salvation!!! Eat 'em cold, microwaved, toasted. Whatever, just eat them and let my coffee kick in for five seconds. This adoption has been surprise after surprise. We started out adopting a precious girl that I have advocated for for years. Our last adoption was expedited and I was so excited to sit back, relax and take my precious time with this one. As summer drew to a pleasant close, we discovered that our daughter may have a twin that she was separated from, say what?!? Truth. We asked for DNA confirmation, but it couldn't be done. Long story short, we are adopting two girls, same age, same condition. The second

I'm on the verge of traveling to adopt two little girls in, hopefully, a few weeks. The thing is, I've done this before, I've adopted before and I know what is coming. Trauma is coming, beautiful, harder than I can imagine or probably even remember trauma. I remember coming home and feeling utterly alone and wondering what on God's green earth I had done. I remember feeling horribly guilty for the thoughts going through my head and I remember hiding in my room as I slumped against the bedroom door and yanked at the hair on my scalp. Oh, but heavens, I remember. It hasn't been that long, not even two years. I swore I would never go back. I was quite certain I would never survive and if I did, well, then that must mean that my son had not survived. It was one or the other. We wouldn't both make it out of that first year. Then, I saw a mom I had met in China post a picture of her son throwing a tantrum and I thought, "Maybe I'm not alone!" I cal